Being a Domestic Dud – Part One: Cleaning Failures

IMG_6670Exciting news in Denver, Colorado!  Casa Bonita has put up their holiday lights!  Nothing says Happy Holidays like horrible Mexican food and festive holiday lights!


Now, back to the topic at hand.  I am a domestic dud.  My domestic failures fall into two main categories – cooking and cleaning.  I am equally bad at both but in very different ways.  Today we are focusing on my failures in cleaning.  I know that cleaning is not really anyone’s favorite thing to do, but the funny thing is I actually enjoy the act of cleaning.  There is something comforting in cleaning – starting with a dirty house and ending with a more clean and orderly house…it’s such a feeling of accomplishment for me.   The only problem is that even though I have a sense of accomplishment and a cleaner house, I am definitely not the best cleaner in the world.


From the outside I actually appear to be a fanatic about cleaning.  I am always vacuuming and spraying cleaners and wiping up spilled drinks and while I do like the feeling of a clean house, I am REALLY bad a “deep” cleaning.  One of these areas in particular is dusting.  My better half always makes fun of me so obsessed with cleaning but still having one of the dustiest houses around.   Like Adam’s Family dusty.  The majority of our picture frames and the corners of our rooms have cobwebs and dust hanging around like we have decorated for Halloween (which we have not).  To prove the point let me tell you the tale of Charlotte.


IMG_6672We have a spider in our bedroom that has been in the corner since shortly after we moved in (her name is Charlotte – hence, the tale of Charlotte).  When we first moved in she was busy making a web, catching bugs, and I couldn’t bring myself to kill her so we just left her be.   But, at some point Charlotte left this world but her little body remained.  I left it alone in case she was just sleeping, but over several months that outcome become less likely.  At that point, it just seemed pointless to get rid of her so I just let her be in the corner of our bedroom and there she’s stayed for several years.  Every once in a while, my better half and I will look up at her and think about how we are going to transport her to our next house.  Charlotte’s carcass (and her spirit) are officially part of the family.  A normal person who is concerned with real cleanliness would not let this happen, this spider would have been disposed of and the webs she left behind would have been destroyed long ago, but as a domestic dud, that just isn’t me.  I have bouts of OCD cleanliness and then it passes and I go back to a pattern of keeping everything clean enough so we don’t get rodents.


IMG_6675Next, let’s move on the bathroom.  From the outside looking in our bathroom is usually pretty clean.  The one thing I can’t control is the HAIR.  I can sweep or vacuum the bathroom and within seconds the floor is covered with hair again.  I know I lose hair but with the amount of hair on the bathroom floor I should be completely bald.   The more alarming part is that the hair is 85% people hair and 15% dog hair.  I can count on both hands the number of times I have actually seen the dogs in the bathroom.  How on earth is their hair getting in to the bathroom at this frequency?  So, I continue to sweep, but honestly some days I just don’t have it in me and soon the floor will go from smooth white tile to a slightly fuzzier hair coating and I’ll just let it go.


The final stop is the kitchen.  I love having a clean kitchen but I absolutely hate cleaning the kitchen.  It is a place I cannot wrap my head around finding the right techniques to really get it clean.  I actually look forward to moving so that I have a fresh kitchen to start all over with.  I clean the microwave about every two to three years after the coating of rice and other food remnants get to be too much and I can never, ever, EVER seem to get the stove clean.  No matter what I do, or what tips or tricks I read about, there always seems to be a layer of grease or oil near the hood of the stove that I just can’t get rid of.  Please don’t even get me started with the refrigerator.  Why is it so difficult to keep the refrigerator clean?!  Sometimes I’ll be taking the milk out and I will find pine needles in there.  How on earth did sap and pine needles get into the refrigerator and why are there so many expired condiments in there!   While the kitchen is never filthy, it just never feels really clean either.


The good news is that my better half isn’t a cleanliness fanatic and so he doesn’t seem to notice a lot of the stuff that drives me mad (aside from the dust).    So, I’ll just keep things under control enough to keep the rodents at bay and maybe one day I’ll finally get bit by the domestic bug that will teach me all I need to know to really have a super clean house.


Stay tuned for Part Two when I share tails of my inability in the kitchen!


Life Goals of a Failing Blogger

i told you soLast week when I was posting every day on my blog my better half said: “you better pace yourself.”  I politely nodded and thought “what does he know I have lots of ideas and tons of time, I’ll be able to keep this pace forever!”  That was the day before I went back to work after a week off and a vacation that never happened.  That was after a week where I had all the time I wanted to sit at my computer and write anytime I wanted.  I could stay up late writing because I had nowhere to be the next morning.  Now when the alarm goes off I have to be at work.  This whole work thing gets in the way of this whole doing whatever you want whenever you want thing, doesn’t it?  So, lesson learned.  Advice taken.  I will pace myself.  So, you should probably expect about three posts per week and anything more you can consider a bonus!



IMG_6655Before I get too far let me catch up on our weekend first.  Saturday we went to Fort Collins.  Our trip to Fort Collins had a mission but we turned the day into an adventure.  Better half went climbing at Horsetooth Reservoir and I got a start on our holiday shopping and then we met up for lunch to complete our mission.  Our mission was to get a replacement pint glass from Coopersmith (the best brewpub in Northern Colorado).  I “got” (aka stole) one for my husband when we first moved to Fort Collins and it was one of his favorite glass.  Coaly Dog knocked it off the end table a couple of weeks ago and smashed it into a million pieces and my better half was heartbroken.  So we returned to Coopersmiths on Saturday to get a new pint glass (an actually pay for it – because we have jobs now).   We had a great lunch on the patio, bought a new glass, visited Jax (an awesome outdoor store), tried a new brewery (shout out to the Gilded Goat) and headed back south where I promptly pulled in to the driveway, opened the door to the backseat and the pint glass rolled out of the backseat into the driveway and smashed into a million pieces (AGAIN).  Mother f(&@er!!!  I feel horrible and my better half is still bummed.  So great trip but mission FAILED!


Since we last chatted December has snuck up on us.  It’s officially 21 days until Christmas.  In my world, that means it’s 5 days until the end of classes, 9 days until the end of the fall semester, and 16 days until my next vacation starts.  Lots to do in very little time!  I need to do some sort of holiday shopping, prepare for our journey across the United States trapped in a mid-size car with two bigger than mid-sized dogs, and wrap up everything I need to wrap up at work before the new year.   With all of that to do, I have also decided I am not waiting until the new year to start my new year’s resolutions.  I have never liked the idea of new year’s resolutions and so instead I have set updated life goals and I want to start them today!  I have come up with three broad categories and within each category, there are more specific goals. Seems easy enough.  The setting the goals is always the easy part, it’s the sticking to them that always tends to be a little more difficult.goals


So, without further ado, my three goals:  eat, run, blog.


eatEat –The main focus of this goal is pretty simple.  Eat better.  More specifically, stop eating like a child.  Cool it with the processed food and focus on eating more natural food.  Instead of taking the easy way out and eating packaged food actually take time to prepare meals and take them to work for lunch.


runRun – Get back in to running.  It seems like the problem with my foot is going to be a problem whether I run or not so I NEED to get back into running.  Not running is driving me absolutely crazy (and probably those around me as well).  I’m going to start slow and rebuild my base and stamina and I have a goal to run at least one race every month in 2018 and run at least one 5k, 10k, and half marathon.  December will be spent rebuilding stamina and my first race will be January 1st, 2018.


blogBlog – Find a regular routine for blogging.  I have to take life into consideration.  I work full time (actually usually more than 40 hours per week) and I have lots of other stuff going on like running, teaching, making sure our house is clean enough we don’t get rodents, we have clean clothes, and sometimes we have food on the table.    So, I need to realistically figure out when I can find time to blog and make it a regular part of my routine.  I love doing it and I want to make it a regular part of my life.  And I know how much you all love to hear me complain!


So, expect to be hearing a lot more about these goals and my successes (and failures) along the way.  But, hopefully this time next year I will have lots of great things to report on my life goals.


Have you started thinking about your New Year’s Resolutions or updating your life goals?  What’s on your list?



Riddle Me This – The M&M Debate


So, last night, like a lot of nights, my better half and I found ourselves wondering the aisles of our local Safeway.  This is an all too common event because let’s be honest, we don’t really have lives.  Anyways, this particular evening we found ourselves in the candy aisle of our local Safeway and a very important debate began.  While gazing upon the shelves upon shelves of M&Ms my better half asked: “how do you rank the M&Ms from best to worst?”  Great, yet difficult, question.  One that I want you all to weigh in on!


So first – I’ll start by listing all the types of M&Ms that were available last night at Safeway and then I’ll share my list from best to worst.  Then hopefully you will share yours in the comments.  Just imagine the fun we will have!!  And trust me it’s a much harder question than you first think.


Types of M&Ms: Almond, Caramel, Crispy, Dark Chocolate, Dark Chocolate Peanut, Milk Chocolate (Plain), Mini (Plain), Peanut, Peanut Butter, and Pretzel.


My Ranking of M&Ms from Best to Worst:

  • Milk Chocolate (Plain) – What can I say, I’m a purest!
  • Peanut
  • Peanut Butter
  • Pretzel
  • Crispy
  • Dark Chocolate Peanut
  • Dark Chocolate
  • Caramel
  • Mini (Plain)
  • Almond – I wouldn’t touch these with a ten-foot pole!


Okay, now it’s your turn – let me know what your favorite and your least favorite M&Ms are…and are there some flavors you’ve had that aren’t offered at our Safeway?