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Being a Domestic Dud – Part One: Cleaning Failures

IMG_6670Exciting news in Denver, Colorado!  Casa Bonita has put up their holiday lights!  Nothing says Happy Holidays like horrible Mexican food and festive holiday lights!

 

Now, back to the topic at hand.  I am a domestic dud.  My domestic failures fall into two main categories – cooking and cleaning.  I am equally bad at both but in very different ways.  Today we are focusing on my failures in cleaning.  I know that cleaning is not really anyone’s favorite thing to do, but the funny thing is I actually enjoy the act of cleaning.  There is something comforting in cleaning – starting with a dirty house and ending with a more clean and orderly house…it’s such a feeling of accomplishment for me.   The only problem is that even though I have a sense of accomplishment and a cleaner house, I am definitely not the best cleaner in the world.

 

From the outside I actually appear to be a fanatic about cleaning.  I am always vacuuming and spraying cleaners and wiping up spilled drinks and while I do like the feeling of a clean house, I am REALLY bad a “deep” cleaning.  One of these areas in particular is dusting.  My better half always makes fun of me so obsessed with cleaning but still having one of the dustiest houses around.   Like Adam’s Family dusty.  The majority of our picture frames and the corners of our rooms have cobwebs and dust hanging around like we have decorated for Halloween (which we have not).  To prove the point let me tell you the tale of Charlotte.

 

IMG_6672We have a spider in our bedroom that has been in the corner since shortly after we moved in (her name is Charlotte – hence, the tale of Charlotte).  When we first moved in she was busy making a web, catching bugs, and I couldn’t bring myself to kill her so we just left her be.   But, at some point Charlotte left this world but her little body remained.  I left it alone in case she was just sleeping, but over several months that outcome become less likely.  At that point, it just seemed pointless to get rid of her so I just let her be in the corner of our bedroom and there she’s stayed for several years.  Every once in a while, my better half and I will look up at her and think about how we are going to transport her to our next house.  Charlotte’s carcass (and her spirit) are officially part of the family.  A normal person who is concerned with real cleanliness would not let this happen, this spider would have been disposed of and the webs she left behind would have been destroyed long ago, but as a domestic dud, that just isn’t me.  I have bouts of OCD cleanliness and then it passes and I go back to a pattern of keeping everything clean enough so we don’t get rodents.

 

IMG_6675Next, let’s move on the bathroom.  From the outside looking in our bathroom is usually pretty clean.  The one thing I can’t control is the HAIR.  I can sweep or vacuum the bathroom and within seconds the floor is covered with hair again.  I know I lose hair but with the amount of hair on the bathroom floor I should be completely bald.   The more alarming part is that the hair is 85% people hair and 15% dog hair.  I can count on both hands the number of times I have actually seen the dogs in the bathroom.  How on earth is their hair getting in to the bathroom at this frequency?  So, I continue to sweep, but honestly some days I just don’t have it in me and soon the floor will go from smooth white tile to a slightly fuzzier hair coating and I’ll just let it go.

 

The final stop is the kitchen.  I love having a clean kitchen but I absolutely hate cleaning the kitchen.  It is a place I cannot wrap my head around finding the right techniques to really get it clean.  I actually look forward to moving so that I have a fresh kitchen to start all over with.  I clean the microwave about every two to three years after the coating of rice and other food remnants get to be too much and I can never, ever, EVER seem to get the stove clean.  No matter what I do, or what tips or tricks I read about, there always seems to be a layer of grease or oil near the hood of the stove that I just can’t get rid of.  Please don’t even get me started with the refrigerator.  Why is it so difficult to keep the refrigerator clean?!  Sometimes I’ll be taking the milk out and I will find pine needles in there.  How on earth did sap and pine needles get into the refrigerator and why are there so many expired condiments in there!   While the kitchen is never filthy, it just never feels really clean either.

 

The good news is that my better half isn’t a cleanliness fanatic and so he doesn’t seem to notice a lot of the stuff that drives me mad (aside from the dust).    So, I’ll just keep things under control enough to keep the rodents at bay and maybe one day I’ll finally get bit by the domestic bug that will teach me all I need to know to really have a super clean house.

 

Stay tuned for Part Two when I share tails of my inability in the kitchen!

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