I had so many hopes and plans when I started blogging. First I was going to blog all the time. In my head, I had (and still have) so much to say but every time I sit down to write I always find myself worried about how people will react to what I write. I don’t want to make anyone mad, or upset anyone, or worry anyone and so I stop writing. I delete my half-written post and try to think of something else to write about that has absolutely no controversy. But, halfway through that new post, I am completely bored out of my mind and once again stop writing and delete another half-written post. This never-ending cycle of writing and deleting has put a huge damper on my plan to blog all the time and instead, I have turned in to one of the most sporadic bloggers of all time who pretty much only talks about dogs, running, and hiking – not really the most controversial or exciting topics out there.
I dipped my toes into sharing my true feelings early this summer when I wrote a post about how I felt when people gave me, what I felt to be, less than genuine encouragement during races and I got a backlash from some people telling me that I needed to think about how my post made people feel who give encouragement during races. They said I was purposefully making encouragers feel bad when all I was trying to do was giving another person’s perspective. I wasn’t purposefully trying to do anything other than share my point of view. I did want to open a dialogue about what goes on during races and was hoping for an open, accepting exchange of opinions rather than accusations. Apparently, I have too much hope for mankind that we could successfully achieve that goal.
So how do people do it? How do you share your life with people? We love to share when everything is going awesome in our lives but the reality is that is just a small portion of our lives, the other portions of our lives are either extremely boring or overwhelming stressful and scary. How can you write about what scares you and the turmoil’s you are facing without worrying or upsetting everyone around you? If I was writing to the faceless masses this would be easy but I know that people I know and love read this as well and I don’t want to do anything that upsets them. I honestly feel that some of the things going on in my life might help other people, or at least others can relate to – unsuccessfully balancing work and life, my inability to cook edible meals other than casseroles, making the choice not have children and dealing with everyone and their brother asking you why, having medical issues that you can’t get answers to, parents who aren’t 40 anyone (because WTF I’m almost 40), and being a runner who is not a size two (or four…or six…or eight); but I also know that some of the topics can be upsetting and aren’t the most comfortable conversations to have.
So, with all that being said, I guess this is just a fair warning that the real Jolly Runner is going to stand up and start sharing a little more and going a little deeper and hopefully finding their passion to write again. If you are looking for rainbows and puppy dogs you probably won’t find them here (well, you will find some puppy dogs), but here are some great sites to visit: Best of Cute Golden Retrievers and Top 20 Beautiful Rainbows Around the World.